Wednesday, November 26, 2008

No Wonder I feel So Sad

I suddenly realized how long it's been since we lost our twins to early miscarriage. It really has been months. They should have been due in early January. We still have to bury the placenta under a rosebush next Spring.

I don't know if I'll ever look forward to being pregnant again. Sometimes DH and I entertain the idea of trying again in the next few years. But usually I just say I'm happy with the two we have. The worst part of the whole ordeal was finding out we'd lost the babies at the same ultrasound that we found out there were two sacs, and that they'd passed weeks earlier. The fact that I was so overjoyously happy with being pregnant again while unknowingly carrying my dead babies inside me for a month is just horrible. Horrible! Horrible! Horrible! They should have been around 10-11 weeks at the u/s and instead were only 6 weeks.

Oh and plus, I went to the gyno's about 2 weeks ago to get on the Nuvaring and the nurse there asked me how old my newborn was. I told her I didn't have one, and that my youngest child is two years. She was genuinely confused so I had to explain that we'd lost the pregancy. Gahhhh! Shouldn't they write that down in the freaking chart! I didn't want to have to say that outloud.



Martha said...

I am so sorry, that is horrible that you lost your twins. It is sad that it wasn't in your chart and you had to tell someone yet again.

Renee said...

Thanks for caring enough to write. You're the only person who has been kind enough to do that today. :-)